In 2004, Lisa Seger née Pedersen left the exciting world of credit card and check services marketing to dive into the calmer waters of retail copywriting. It was this same year, she embarked upon a life adventure colloquially known as the Misses Smonnkenny project. Below are her observations and the beginnings of said adventure.
My Story
Stress, schmess. I needed an easier job and more time off and found both
in a sweet little gig with a semi-national retail chain I will call Smage
Smores. (Identities have been changed to protect the innocent and the
easily offended.)
Smage Smores sells some OK stuff - several brand names I might don without protest, basics like decent jeans, t-shirts… you know. My job is to sell all of these items in direct mail, newspaper ads, credit card enclosures, etc. And it's not like the Petermen-esque, "As I wandered through the stalls of the grand souk in Casablanca, the acrid stench of goat hides tanning in open pits left me longing for the sweet relief that only a quick, hot bullet to the brain could bring. Yet my 45% polyester blend chinos were as crisp as the day they were first pressed in a post production ritual in the sweatshops of Borneo." …My descriptions are more like, "Pants! 29.99!" But still, it's my job to make everything we sell sound good.
In addition to the OK stuff, we also have a few dodgy store brands, like Smonnkenny. (Again - names changed, blahdee-blah). Turns out, this Smonnkenny stuff is actually my favorite. It is more or less Garanimals for old people. 100% Polyester "coordinates", as we are wont to call them. They are basically sad pull-on pants that fit to right under the armpits and atrociously patterned button down tops to match. Go to your local Bingo parlor - you'll see some. They rock. Anyway, in an effort to prove my favorite sales pitch, that they are "go-anywhere" separates, I am starting to go everywhere in them. And document the journey in photos.
What follows is a chronicle of the potential life of your Misses Smonnkenny separates. Only 19.99 per piece! (21.99 in Plus-sizes) And you know, I had so much fun with the above Peterman description, I think I'll keep that going. So enter, if you dare, the world of Misses Smonnkenny separates.
UPDATE, MAY 2006: One can only stay in an easy, brainless job so long. Well - if that one is me, anyway. That "so long" ended up being not quite two years. I recently left Smage Smores (It was Stage! It was Stage Stores all along!) and reentered the exciting world of financial service marketing. But God help me I just cannot stop wearing those wonderful polyester coordinates. (Misses Donnkenney! It was Misses Donnkenny all along!) - so keep checking back for new photos. And take a look at my newest obsessive compulsive work related project, "Real Names in America: What is Wrong With People?!"
